Expectation, Reality, Acceptance.
It can be challenging when expectations are different than reality;
but it can be a great chance for growth if you let it!
These last few weeks
have been interesting to say the least. In some ways they haven’t been that different at all (I usually WFH and spend a lot of time here); in other ways they have brought a lot of change (my husband now also works from home; groceries are much harder to come by; stress has been higher/sleep more difficult/ exercise different due to gym closed, etc.). Let’s just say as millennials, we’ve already been hit pretty hard by 9/11, the dot-com bubble [burst], and the ‘09 recession…but let’s bring on a pandemic now, too, k? Oy!
As someone who is a planner by nature (Enneagram 6, always striving for stability), times like this — where routine is unpredictable — challenge me. I get uncomfortable; I grasp at straws, trying to find what I can control. Sometimes I focus in on finding control way too much, which just creates more stress.
Ironically, I had a lot of training for this when I was a military spouse…and while it prepared me a bit, it’s something I am still working on!
I’ve had a lot of expectations of these past weeks. ..
Some have come to pass.
Many, both good and bad, haven’t.
And that’s ok.
What I’ve learned about stress and anxiety is that it comes up most often when we are disappointed about what we hope will happen and are unable to accept what is actually happening. Do you ever struggle with feeling this way?
I’m no expert, but some things that have worked for me when I feel this way are:
— taking a MACRO view: asking how my problems effect my life as a whole; do they warrant this level of worry?
— taking a MICRO view: feeling all the feelings. Working through them. Figuring out WHY I feel the way I do, where it’s coming from. Analyzing those thought patterns and wondering how I might be able to adjust them. Letting myself cry or feel bad for a little while, then allowing myself to move forward
— Journaling: writing down how I feel or think. Getting it all out there
—A LITTLE bit of distraction — feeling all the feels is good and important, but throwing on a comedy that I love and know will make me laugh for a little while is an amazing way to get some endorphins going + lift my mood
—Doing something small that I can control, but won’t be able to obsess over for too long….like prepping food for dinner, baking something I’ll enjoy, cleaning, taking out the trash, folding laundry, etc.
—EXERCISE — gentle to moderate, depending on how stressed my body is feeling
—Taking a walk
—Calling a loved one and chatting
—Writing down what I am GRATEFUL for
—Meditation/ acceptance mantras
Getting out in nature can be a great way to calm your mind and get your thoughts into perspective. :)
Back in January & February,
we spent a lot of weekends out of town. In these pictures here, we visited Monterey, CA on a rainy/foggy weekend. I’ll admit that going into this weekend I was overwhelmed. It’s not a long drive. We weren’t doing anything particularly demanding. But we had already traveled a lot of the past couple months, and I was definitely feeling more inclined to just be at home & in my normal routine. But once we got there and experienced these views, I was pretty darn happy to be there. Don’t tell my hubby, but I guess I’m pretty grateful that he pushes me out of my comfort zone so we can make these memories <3.
The options above have all helped me stop the cycle of stress/anxiety/what-ifs. You don’t need to try all of them every time you feel overwhelmed, or even over the course of the month. Even just one or two of these methods can be really useful. You just need to figure out what works best for your personality and the given situation.
How do you deal with stress or anxiety when reality doesn’t meet your expectations? Would love to hear from you!
Yours in Wellness,
Liz